So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
