Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
