Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
this hospital has no fireball
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize