I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
