I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
