I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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