so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
