i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
