my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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