this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I miss vodka workout Fridays
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
