Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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