Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
