Buhtt sex?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
