nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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