Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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