i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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