Christians are straight up FREAKS
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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