my vag is so smooth its legendary
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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