but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
