I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize