She is in my trunk
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
