i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
