so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
