i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
