Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i was born a porn star she said
where am i from again
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
