Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
