I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
whose ass print is on the piano?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
