Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I love you.
Bad choice
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
