i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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