I puked a lego.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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