She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The adults are the big ones right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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