is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
