guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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