What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
