What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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