he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
