What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We don't watch enough power rangers
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
