As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
