Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize