Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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