I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
