My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
