I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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