I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
