on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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