I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize