Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize