Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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