Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
