I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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