were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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