i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
