the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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