At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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