I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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