so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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