So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
