I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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