This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
