is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
