Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
