Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
